Coping with a Stormy Marriage (and Children)
Sometimes, life becomes unpredictable and we must make hard decisions every now and then. For example, while you’re doing everything in your power to make your marriage work, that is no guarantee it will. These are things that we just can’t control. If your marriage has begun to cause you misery, then you have to take stock of it. To get a divorce or not is a big decision, especially with children in the picture. Prior to deciding, here are things to look into:
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse.
No matter how uncomfortable it may make you feel, talk to your spouse. Initiate an adult and relaxed conversation regarding your available options and how you can make your marriage better.
Don’t lie to yourself.
By being honest to yourself, you can ensure that the cause you are fighting for might actually work for you. Much of this depends on where your spouse half is coming from with his own thoughts and emotions. If he is also keen on saving your relationship, then there is hope.
Don’t give up.
It is best to keep trying and to never give up unless you just can take it no more. Explore new ways to improve your marriage, such as seeking marriage therapy. You might just discover a deeply rooted issue and fix it for good. Not talking about your feelings only makes it impossible to repair your marriage.
Decide and stand by your decision.
At a particular point, you will have to make that decision, whatever it is, and go with it. Make sure that you are irrevocably comfortable with that decision, and stick to it. Divorce can be crushing, but nothing is worse than going back and forth with your partner while your kids watch. It’s will be challenging, but if divorce appears to be the best decision, have the courage to stand by it.
Talk to your children on their level.
Divorce can make children suffer, especially if they are dealing with other changes in their own lives as well. What you can do is to be talk to them in a language they can comprehend. If you are planning to share custody, set a routine that will be least disruptive to them as possible. At any rate, give them reassurance that whatever happens, they are loved by both their parents.
It’s rather heartbreaking to be experiencing a divorce or a troubled marriage, but you have to stay positive and focus on all the wonderful things you already have in your life. Be forward-looking and remain strong and solid along the way; in the end, you will be much stronger and wiser than ever.